March 30, 1981

Last night I received a call from a friend of mine from back east.  He asked if I remembered what I doing thirty years ago this day.  Well, I know that I was 12 years old.  That was about it.  He reminded me that we were sitting in my room watching General Hospital when the broadcast was interrupted by breaking news that President Reagan had been shot.  After getting over the shock of the amount of time that had gone by I started to piece together the random particulars of that day.

It was cloudy (it was Boston –go figure).  I had changed out of my school uniform and put on cut-off jean shorts despite it being about 50 degrees outside.  We walked around collecting money from our neighbors for a school play.  I remember feeling giddy in a way but in a nervous way.  We knew something was of course terribly wrong that day, but still being children there was a slight air of it all being pretend, like a movie, or better yet, like the soap opera that had been interrupted with the tragic news.  Strange times.  I still can’t believe how long ago that was and that my friend actually remembered this.

Years later I visited the Reagan Library in Simi Valley, CA.  President Reagan kept a journal of his years in the White House.  On display were his thoughts on what had happened to him and his willingness to forgive the man who shot him.  I found it to be very touching.  I don’t know if I would have the strength to forgive someone who tried to take my life.

Yet Another Update

So I’m going to start by saying that this has been the longest week in history. It feels like it should be the weekend already.  There’s nothing particularly boring or anything like that going on but time seems to be moving much slower this week.

I happen to be perusing Facebook when I saw that my cousin had posted that she was visiting our grandmother in the hospital.  I messaged her and luckily she responded right away.  Our Grandmother, who turned 90 in December (bless her), had been sick with a cold and had gotten herself dehydrated.  She fainted Tuesday evening.  I looked up the number to the hospital and spoke to her for a few minutes.  She seem to be in pretty good spirits and was ready to go home.  It sounds like she will be going to a rehab facility for a few days before coming home.  I told her not to worry and that she’d be home and back at it before she knew it.  The words seem familiar to me, like I had said them before.  I remember saying that to my other Grandmother back in 1994 a week before she passed.  Not a great memory as I was in complete denial to the fact that she was terminally ill.  Anyways, this Grandmother that is currently in the hospital is a tough lady.  I have a feeling she will pull through.  It stinks living so far away sometimes.  She is in Connecticut.

The weather here has gotten unseasonably cool.  I don’t know if I’m really digging this but come this summer I’ll be begging for these temps I’m sure.  For the past week I’ve been completely dragging butt.  I’m not sure if it has to do with allergies or the fact that I have hypothyroidism.  Maybe both.  For some reason I thought I was out of medication and was saving up to go to the doctors (no health insurance).  This requires a trip to the doctors for a prescription to get blood drawn at the lab, then a trip to the lab and another trip to the doctors to analyze the test results.  As it turns out I had three tablets left and one 90 day refill prescription left.  Unfortunately I went a few too many days thinking I didn’t have medicine and have thrown myself out of whack.  It will take a week or so to feel normal again.  I’m just tired and achy.  Yeah, should’ve planned this much better, I know.

Last Friday I went and had my hair done professionally.  I actually took the afternoon off from work to go and it was such a treat.  The stylist straightened my hair with a flat-iron and I’m trying to keep it this way for a while.  We’ll see.  Its been a lot of work so far and being pretty low maintenance most of the time, it has taken some getting used to.

On the fitness front, I’m still keeping up with the schedule despite being so dang tired.  I think tonight I might try step aerobics.  Its been a long time but it’s time to change it up.  That’s if I feel like dragging my weary butt there.  Well, 33 lbs gone.  Its slowing down now which is to be expected.  Only 6 lbs to go before I have a normal BMI.

Right now I’m thinking about leaving the volunteer group that I’ve belonged to this past year and a half.  There’s just been this nagging lately that I can’t shake or justify.  Back over the holidays I had created a database for all the folks we have served.  What I noticed is that some of these people had been helped since 2004.  There are others who have had their utility payments made for them every year also since the earlier part of the last decade.  At this point are we really helping these people?  Are we keeping them from making better decisions that would positively affect their lives if we are constantly providing assistance that most work for?  Back in the Fall we had placed some rules together that stated that we would only help out once with utilities and that people needed to show proof of where they lived by providing an ID.  Now it seems to be somewhat of a free for all.  Don’t get me wrong.  There are definitely people out there that so need the help.  What is disappointing is at times we are not able to help those that have fallen into a temporary hard time or may have found themselves without a home due to job loss, illness, etc… because the funds and food at the pantry are going to the regulars.  I’m not sure how I feel anymore.  It’s hard to ask for donations to the organization at this point because we seem to be supporting people who either a.) don’t want to work, or b.) would rather not think how to better their situation when you’ve got the good ol’ church supporting you for years on end. 

I’ve never witnessed so much lying too by the regulars.  There was a  day before Christmas when hubby and I went in to help with the phones.    Whoever was in before us never updated the messages so I ended up recalling the same people to see if they could come by to get their turkey food box.  Out of 5 people who came by that day, 4 of them had already ended up being helped the day before although they claimed this was the first time they had been by.  This was before the database was created and we were working from cards.  They didn’t recognize my voice on the phone so took full advantage.  What were they going to do with two turkeys anyways?  That incident has been whats gotten my mind working.  I’ve brought this up several times to the group and no one seems to be that concerned.  At this point I feel like we are doing more harm than good.  There’s got to be something else I can commit to that will make a better impact.  I’m going to keep my eyes open.