It is official. I have separated from my other half. No more lies. No more infidelity. I waffle back and forth between being completely and utterly relieved to feeling like my heart has been cut out of my chest.
On Friday morning I took my wedding rings off (see enclosed picture). My naked hand looks so beautiful to me. Saturday evening I went up to Athletica’s house and we drank champagne. We were supposed to be celebrating but instead as I spoke about it I found myself wanting to cry. I waited a while after drinking the champagne and then drove home and went to bed. I texted a friend of mine who is going through a divorce and told him what had happened. He wrote back long after I had fallen asleep that he remembered very well what it felt like and to sleep well. Then he added that he liked champagne. Such are the comments of my guy friends.
I spoke with friends and family over the weekend and everyone agreed that I had done the right thing. I knew I had. Three years is a long time to be miserable. Not sure where to go from here. How do I let people know? Do I send out a blanket email? Can you imagine:
“Dear friends and family,
Due to irreconcilable differences my other half and I will no longer be attending your barbecues together. We have separated. Please do not call me to discuss because I am fine.
Hope the Diamondbacks will have a stellar year!
Although its early, way too early to be thinking about any of this, I wondered what it would be like to date again. Maybe eventually. I don’t know. In all honesty I am terrified. I can’t think that far ahead so I won’t. I look forward to having some peace. Once his stuff is gone I’m going to buy a bottle of expensive wine and sit in my livingroom and sip a glass. I’m going to breathe in the peace and look forward to the new life I will create for myself.