Tomorrow Athletica and I leave for Sedona. I really can’t wait just to be away. In my mind I have prepared a mental checklist of all the things I need to pack. It’s going to be chilly with the high of only 32 degrees Saturday morning when the race starts.
The former other half will be taking care of the dog while I am away. In all honesty I wish he would just take her permanently. She’s developed a few bad habits and I think she is on a mission to punish me for his leaving. My livingroom set is something I worked very hard for and the livingroom is one of my favorite rooms in the house. Lately I have seen the tell-tale signs that she has been sleeping up on the couch. This is a new habit of hers and no matter how much I threaten with the paper and yell, she continues. Oh, she’ll roll over submissively as if she is promising me she’ll never do it again, but if they ever gave out academy awards for dogs, she would definitely be in the running.
A few weeks back she jumped up on the bed and was rolling around maniacally. At first I watched in amusement, until, that is, I heard the unmistakable sound of fabric ripping. I lifted up the comforter to find that she had completely stuck her through the sheet and was sitting there as if wearing a poncho giving me that goofy dog grin. I have yet to replace the sheet and woke up one night with said sheet looped around my shoulder. I guess she thought I needed my own version of the Snuggy. Little bitch.
Today I got up and decided to treat myself to a little more care than I have been. I picked out an outfit that I haven’t worn in a while, flat-ironed the heck out of my hair and put on a little more makeup than I am accustomed to wearing. I gave myself a parting glance, thought, okay, I look good, and then headed out the door. Gradually moving forward, I am.
A cousin of mine called the other night from the Boston area. I have not seen him in close to 20 years but we were reacquainted back when I was home visiting over the holidays. He is in the army now and is due to be deployed to Afghanistan any day now. He is three years younger than me and I always considered him my little cousin. It was nice that he called. I was expecting him to be long gone. He and his girlfriend were at a bar and all of his friends had been treating him to drinks not knowing when he’d be getting the call that he would be shoving off. My cousin was somewhat wild growing up. I do recall there being lots of trouble and in my grandmother’s later years she confessed to me that she really didn’t care for him that much. I always thought that was so sad. My cousin lost his Dad, my Uncle Bob, late last summer.
I find it so interesting sometimes how paths cross over and over again in life. When my cousin and I spoke at my Mom’s party I felt this familial connection with him that I hadn’t remembered feeling since we were little kids. I remember my grandmother sitting with her latch hook rug kit and out of all of us kids she was babysitting, it was just my cousin and me who asked her to show us how this was done. I remember her purchasing kits for each of us and the three of us sat in the livingroom of her little apartment while the rest of the kids played games or watched an old Elvis movie on tv. My cousin’s rug kit was of Snoopy and his dog house and mine was of a sunset scene with a palm tree in the foreground (go figure). I meant to ask my cousin if he remembered this and completely forgot. At the end of the conversation, over the din of the bar noise I could have sworn he said “I love you.” I was taken aback by this and think I responded with an “Ok” but it was nice to hear it from a family member who means it. I will worry about him every single day he is away. He’s such a tough guy though. If death were to approach him I have a sneaking suspicion that death would get the surprise of its life with a swift kick to the teeth. Such is my cousin. Always was, always will be.
I talked to the former other half last night. He said he never saw himself as a divorced person. I said I never saw myself married to someone who could do the things he’s done. There was nothing he could say.
Well, I’m pushing it a little harder today. I feel the need to keep things organized and clean, more so than usual. From my office to my home I feel the need for order. It keeps me calm. Yesterday I saw the following picture on Facebook and thought it was so true. Enjoy!