Bittersweet Birthday

I had forgotten that it was my birthday today until I was writing the date down yesterday for something and saw it.  I kept thinking it was later on in the week.  See?  Senility is already setting in.  The rawness of losing Monsoon last Saturday is starting to ease up a bit.  Waking up in the morning and going to bed at night are the toughest times when I realize that I’ve either begun or ended another day without her.  Other than the suckiness of that, life is actually pretty good regardless.  I haven’t moved her things out of the room yet.  When I’m ready I will.  The indentation of her little body is still in her bedding.  This weekend I will move her things to one side but again I don’t think I’m ready to completely move her toys and stuff out yet.  There is and will be for a while, a ferret-shaped  hole in my heart.  The house is too quiet, too empty. 

I have referred to her as ‘The Weasely One’ because I’m known on here as ‘Monsoon’.  I wanted to distinguish this so that people wouldn’t think of me as the creepy lady that speaks of herself in the third person.  😉

I had thought of getting another tattoo.  My niece is a tattoo artist and does incredible artwork.  Hubby has promised to disown me if I get another one.  We’ll see.  Speaking of disowning, I’ve brought up the fact that I would really like to get another ferret in time.  Hubby is vehemently against this which breaks my heart even more.  I’ve tried to explain how happy this would make me and how his new work schedule has him out-of-town so much.  He is trying to sell me on the idea of getting another dog.  It’s really him who wants another dog.  As much as I love our Abby, she is definitely his dog.  It’s just not the same.  He told me if I was to get another ferret that I could get another husband.   I told him not to tempt me.  This is definitely a bone of contention at home.

Yesterday I found an article online about animals and the afterlife.  It brought me some peace.  I also recalled that years ago when I had to have my ferret, Petey, put to sleep that as I sat weeping at the vet’s waiting room holding Petey on my lap, that a lady who did not know me from a hole in the wall leaned in close and softly said, “Nowhere in the Bible does it say that animals are not in heaven.”  I thought that was very kind and obviously I haven’t forgotten it.

On a lighter note, the home phone rang this morning.  We don’t usually answer it due to the number of telemarketers that call.  It will usually ring 4 times before stopping.  This time it kept ringing and ringing.  It wasn’t even 7am yet.  I decided to answer it and it was someone looking for my husband.  The man asked me if hubby had forgotten his cellphone.  It was actually his boss thinking he was calling hubby’s cellphone.  Apparently my husband was spraying something that didn’t need to be sprayed (he works construction), and his boss was observing this from a distance.  He thought he was calling his cell to give him further instructions and got me instead.  It was kind of funny.  I was tempted to ask his boss to pass on a message that we were out of milk or something and to have him stop on the way home.  LOL.  (Or worse, feminine hygiene products –ha, ha!  He’d kill me!)

We are looking forward to the weekend.  I have had a kitchen table on lay away since last November.  It was only supposed to be a three-month stint but life sometimes has a way of getting in the way.  I’m hoping to actually have it this weekend.  We’ll see.  For Easter we are joining friend for dinner in the afternoon.  My new friend from the gym lives only a few blocks from us and invited us over for a late afternoon barbecue.  We are looking forward to that.  It will be nice to get back to something that feels like normal.

Next weekend we are having a Taco Night at home.  This is kind of a belated birthday celebration where Easter is this weekend.  My husband makes the most amazing tacos.  What started off as us inviting one other couple has turned into a houseful.  We haven’t had anyone over since December 2008 so we are due.  2.5 years is a long time.  While a few people are old friends, I’d have to say that the majority of people coming are new to us.  Hubby invited some of his co-workers and I have invited my new friend from the gym and her husband.  I’m looking forward to this.  It has been way too long.

“You’re just an empty cage, girl, if you kill the bird.”

-Tori Amos