Bittersweet Birthday

I had forgotten that it was my birthday today until I was writing the date down yesterday for something and saw it.  I kept thinking it was later on in the week.  See?  Senility is already setting in.  The rawness of losing Monsoon last Saturday is starting to ease up a bit.  Waking up in the morning and going to bed at night are the toughest times when I realize that I’ve either begun or ended another day without her.  Other than the suckiness of that, life is actually pretty good regardless.  I haven’t moved her things out of the room yet.  When I’m ready I will.  The indentation of her little body is still in her bedding.  This weekend I will move her things to one side but again I don’t think I’m ready to completely move her toys and stuff out yet.  There is and will be for a while, a ferret-shaped  hole in my heart.  The house is too quiet, too empty. 

I have referred to her as ‘The Weasely One’ because I’m known on here as ‘Monsoon’.  I wanted to distinguish this so that people wouldn’t think of me as the creepy lady that speaks of herself in the third person.  😉

I had thought of getting another tattoo.  My niece is a tattoo artist and does incredible artwork.  Hubby has promised to disown me if I get another one.  We’ll see.  Speaking of disowning, I’ve brought up the fact that I would really like to get another ferret in time.  Hubby is vehemently against this which breaks my heart even more.  I’ve tried to explain how happy this would make me and how his new work schedule has him out-of-town so much.  He is trying to sell me on the idea of getting another dog.  It’s really him who wants another dog.  As much as I love our Abby, she is definitely his dog.  It’s just not the same.  He told me if I was to get another ferret that I could get another husband.   I told him not to tempt me.  This is definitely a bone of contention at home.

Yesterday I found an article online about animals and the afterlife.  It brought me some peace.  I also recalled that years ago when I had to have my ferret, Petey, put to sleep that as I sat weeping at the vet’s waiting room holding Petey on my lap, that a lady who did not know me from a hole in the wall leaned in close and softly said, “Nowhere in the Bible does it say that animals are not in heaven.”  I thought that was very kind and obviously I haven’t forgotten it.

On a lighter note, the home phone rang this morning.  We don’t usually answer it due to the number of telemarketers that call.  It will usually ring 4 times before stopping.  This time it kept ringing and ringing.  It wasn’t even 7am yet.  I decided to answer it and it was someone looking for my husband.  The man asked me if hubby had forgotten his cellphone.  It was actually his boss thinking he was calling hubby’s cellphone.  Apparently my husband was spraying something that didn’t need to be sprayed (he works construction), and his boss was observing this from a distance.  He thought he was calling his cell to give him further instructions and got me instead.  It was kind of funny.  I was tempted to ask his boss to pass on a message that we were out of milk or something and to have him stop on the way home.  LOL.  (Or worse, feminine hygiene products –ha, ha!  He’d kill me!)

We are looking forward to the weekend.  I have had a kitchen table on lay away since last November.  It was only supposed to be a three-month stint but life sometimes has a way of getting in the way.  I’m hoping to actually have it this weekend.  We’ll see.  For Easter we are joining friend for dinner in the afternoon.  My new friend from the gym lives only a few blocks from us and invited us over for a late afternoon barbecue.  We are looking forward to that.  It will be nice to get back to something that feels like normal.

Next weekend we are having a Taco Night at home.  This is kind of a belated birthday celebration where Easter is this weekend.  My husband makes the most amazing tacos.  What started off as us inviting one other couple has turned into a houseful.  We haven’t had anyone over since December 2008 so we are due.  2.5 years is a long time.  While a few people are old friends, I’d have to say that the majority of people coming are new to us.  Hubby invited some of his co-workers and I have invited my new friend from the gym and her husband.  I’m looking forward to this.  It has been way too long.

“You’re just an empty cage, girl, if you kill the bird.”

-Tori Amos

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24 thoughts on “Bittersweet Birthday

  1. Wow – happy birthday! Imagine forgetting that.

  2. I was going to ask the same question about Ruben’s hesitation on getting another ferret. Maybe over time you’ll get him to see that his first experiences with a new ferret would be different if s/he was growing up with him too : ).

    • Hi Pam,
      I did sit and chat with him one night about it. He told me his concerns and I asked him if we could compromise on this. He said he’d think about it and I haven’t brought it up since.

      We went to the Humane Society over the weekend and checked out the dogs. I really didn’t see any dogs that I’d be bonded with. I think its still too soon. Over the weekend while we were visiting various friends, R. would pick up one of their dogs and say, what do you think of this breed? We could get you one of these. But I am and always will be a ferret person.

  3. Happy birthday, Monsoon! Cheers to another year to love and be loved.

    “The indentation of her little body is still in her bedding.” Oh, my God, Monsoon, those words just sliced my heart in half! Why does it hurt so bad to lose a pet? Only animal lovers understand the love animals give to humans.

    Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Please hang in there. I hope that you will find some comfort here and that your pain will lessen with time. One of my best friends is in the same dilemma. Her husband wants a 2nd dog, but she doesn’t. I hope everything works out for you.

    I believe that every animal has a soul, and I also believe that all souls are subject to an afterlife. Near-death experiences strongly indicate our pets are awaiting us in the afterlife. 🙂

    Have a wonderful taco night party birthday!

    • Thanks Zoom. I do miss her so much. Today seems to be particularly hard but I’m determined to take myself up by the bootstrops and move forward. Grief is such a strange thing. Some days its fine and other days, my gosh, it can be so hard. I do feel her little spirit around. I’m just so glad that she is out of pain. I know we’ll be reunited at some point. The bond was just too strong for me to believe anything else.

      Thanks for your kind words.

  4. Happy Birthday! Does this make you an Aries?
    ” I was tempted to ask his boss to pass on a message that we were out of milk or something and to have him stop on the way home. LOL. (Or worse, feminine hygiene products –ha, ha! He’d kill me!)” – LOL! Or…a pregnancy test…LOL
    I used to keep my cash stash in a tampon box in the bathroom. In a house of teenaged boys, this meant the money was very safe. No crooks breaking in would dare to look in that box either, I would think.
    Yummy, REAL tacos. Not shyte Taco Bell tacos. I have had real tacos. This is one of the things I miss about where I used to live – authentic Mexican food.

    • Thanks B. I think I am right on the cusp between Aries & Taurus. I tend to be a little of both personality-wise. so I’ve been told.

      Ha ha! Great place to hide your cash!

      Yes, there are good tacos and there are not so good tacos. I will say that my husband’s tacos are by far the best I have ever had. I would also miss Mexican food if I lived elsewhere.

  5. Is taco a Mexican dish ? hope you have great time 😉 )

    • Hi Rima, a taco is indeed a Mexican food. It basically is a crispy bread made out of corn meal (called masa) that is flat and round. Seasoned meats, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes and sometimes some other things are added to one side. Then it is folded in half and deep friend until crispy. I’m guessing there are no Taco Bell restaurants there. 😉

  6. Happy Belated Day!

    Yea, I just got a new tattoo about a month ago. I’ve never kept it a secret that I like and want them. And he never said anything until this time, thought he likes it, he doesn’t want me to get more… Though he also knows I’ll do to me what I want. For a while he almost had himself talked into one. I still think a sepia lion would look good on his upper arm. =p At the same time, I thought long and hard about both the tattoos I have, Although I wish some things were different about them – I still love them and what they mean to me. I have more ideas in my head…

    And he always wanted another dog until Kieba the stray – did he realize we don’t have room or time for another dog. At the same time if/when something ever happens to my lil’ girl – in time I will try to find a new lil’ girl for the family. I won’t be the only chick in this house! lol Later.

    • Thanks Kira.

      Maybe unless you are dating or married to a biker, men will have issue with it somewhat. 😉 I’m not sure. I know exactly what I want and given that it’s been several years since I first started thinking about it, I know that I’m ready. We’ll see. Its great that your hubby is supportive of you even if he isn’t quite fond of the idea.

  7. Happy belated birthday!

    Uhm the discussion with hubby – why not getting both? A ferret isn’t the most space consuming animal and since you are already having a dog you are kind of bound in regards of going away/travelling/etc. I am not quite understanding why he’s so stubborn on that case…

    • Thanks Irony.

      I think his reasoning is because when he and I first started dating, Monsoon was only a year old. She was jealous of him and bit him really hard once drawing blood which is the only time she ever bit anyone. She also chewed holes in his clothes and would just mess with his stuff. In time she adjusted to him but I don’t think my husband ever completely got over that. I’m working on a strategy to get him to give in to having another one. I also wouldn’t mind having another dog but where he is working out of town so much I think the work of housetraining and all would fall on me. We could always opt for an older dog I suppose.

  8. Happy Birthday!!!

    How could anyone possibly think of your as creepy.

    I hope you enjoy you day.

  9. You’re not senile, LOL. You’re just distracted. A very happy birthday, and I agree about the afterlife. My favorite Buddhist monk says, “we may find the idea of Reincarnation surprising, but it’s no more surprising to be born at all”.

  10. Oh I’m so sorry about little Monsoon! How incredibly sad you must feel. I can understand how your birthday has just sort of crept up on you. I never had a yearning to have a weasel or ferret but after seeing your photos and love for the little one I’ve grown fond of the idea. I am on my own a lot also and have made do with fish until recently when I’ve run the range of wanting a rabbit, a dog, a cat, a ferret, a bird etc – depending on whose blog I’m reading! 🙂

    I hope you had a happy birthday and I wish you many more.

    • Hi Emjay, yes, it’s been a heartbreaking week but each day seems to be a bit better. Ferrets are wonderful pets. They are very playful and loving.

      Thanks for the birthday wishes.

  11. ElizabethFrank123

    A get together sounds wonderful, I hope you have a great time 🙂

  12. geocacherinkerstin

    Happy birthday my friend….you have you bday forgotten? incredibly 😉

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